Parenting Books 101

 

Over the last 4ish years I have read 4 parenting books. Do I wish I had the desire to read more? Yes. Should I read more? Probably. But let’s face it, while we are parenting (which takes up 100% of your time, and 130% of your energy), I find it’s challenging to want to read about the experience.

Luckily, the books I have read I liked and would recommend. And I always suggest researching books before you dive in because they may just not be the right fit for you. So I had a pretty good idea before starting that the philosophies and strategies would jive with our family.

 
 

the whole brain child Daniel Siegel, M.D., and Tina Payne Bryson, Ph.D.

recommended: early toddler years, science of the developing brain.

We read this during a parent-and-me course with prospective school for Maddy when he was about 18mos. We didn’t end up sending Maddy there because we moved, but the book was a great in helping to prepare us for his transition to the toddler years and school. I liked that it explained the connection and the science between the two hemispheres of the brain and the facts behind why toddlers act the way they do. If you don’t have time to read the book, or you want a taste of what it will be like, check out this podcast episode on one of my favorite new series, Raising Good Humans.

 

the happiest toddler on the block Harvey Karp, M.D.

recommended: terrible twos and the threenager

Maddox was always a super happy baby. But around 18 months, when his language was exploding, we started to get hints of the terrible twos. And just to be clear, for us two was no where near the battle 3 has been. But we saw the tantrums coming and I really thought that this book helped us handle them in an adequate way. I really liked his theory on distraction and redirection which I found to be the absolute best strategy/tool to avoid and handle meltdowns. Nick and I had watched his video Happiest Baby on the Block and those strategies worked. So after the video and the book, we sprung for the Snoo which he co-invented.

 

the conscious parent Dr. Shefali Tsabary

recommended: parenting in general

This book is a lot less about the kids we are raising and more about the parents we are. I am super duper type A and this book helped me to understand that I need to let go. Maddy is his own person, and I have to let him be the person he is going to be while putting boundaries in place to keep him safe and be a good human, but not to meet my expectations. Heavy stuff, but totally worth the read and one I will read over and over again.

 

babywise Gary Ezzo M.A., Robert Bucknam M.D.

recommended: if you’re a parent and you want to sleep start here.

Man, this book is like the foundation of our sanity. I need sleep. And the way I get sleep is by getting my kids into a healthy sleep routine. That can happen at any point, but it’s much, much easier during infancy. Much. My second, who is 6mos old as I write this, currently goes to sleep smiling and doesn’t wake up for 12 hours. And then sleeps on a schedule for 3.5hrs a day. Anyone can have that. Anyone. I do have sleep training notes for anyone that wants them. Send me a note!

The Ultimate Hawaiian Honeymoon

Hawaii is a magical place - it rarely (if ever) disappoints. On my last visit at the end of October in 2017, I figured out the ultimate Hawaiian honeymoon (or just an amazing vacation):

 

#firstimpressions 3-4 nights at Andaz Maui, Wailea

recommended: vibes, design, location

From the moment we arrived, I was impressed. It felt ultra luxurious - far beyond the price we were paying, which is always a good thing. The design is modern but it still has a great Hawaiian vibe with all the woods and materials.. They have created these unbelievable layered infinity pools. The bottom pool really attracts families so that’s where the kiddos tend to gravitate, leaving the 3 infinity pools above for more of the adult crowd - again beautifully designed. The crowd was a good mix of honeymooners, babymooners, families and couples and even groups of friends. In October, there were only a handful of families. It’s not a huge hotel, and it feels intimate but not too intimate. The food options are amazing (Morimoto and Ka'ana Kitchen for breakfast were unreal). And there are definite night-time vibes for people who want to dance and enjoy a social scene. It’s by no means a club, but the patio lounge provides great music entertainment and a Hawaiian fire dancer. And the windows are nice and thick if you are more of an early-to-bed, early-to-rise kind of vacationer. It’s an amazing property and it would be the perfect way to start out a Hawaiian honeymoon.

Highlights:

  • #vibes: If you like trendy, ahead-of-the curve experiences, this is your hotel

  • #location: Great for travelers that want to be able to leave the resort - Wailea has a shopping center, and other resorts with great dining. The hotel offers a free shuttle within the Wailea area as well.

  • #convenience: Their 24hr Mokapu Market is everything anyone has ever wanted in a hotel gift shop. Good food, reasonably priced, convenient. We got beer to enjoy on our balcony for $8. Unheard of at a hotel.

  • #goodtoknow: if you can, spring for the ocean/partial ocean view as mountain could include parking the parking lot. I still liked the hotel enough to stay even if I did have a less desirable view. But definitely something to consider.

“ultra luxurious - far beyond the price we were paying”
 

#bucketlist Helicopter tour and transfer to Lana'i

[wish list: views, luxury, thrillist]

Lana'i is about 8 miles from Maui. There is a great ferry that leaves from Lahiana multiple times per day. But if you really want the ultimate honeymoon, there is nothing like a helicopter transfer. It feels like the being in a Jurassic Park movie. It’s also quite a rush. I am not a great flyer, and my first helicopter ride was one of my favorite experiences in 2017. First you can fly to the top of Maui’s great peaks and waterfalls, then you can fly across the bay to Lanai. The Island of Lana'i, which is mostly owned by one philanthropist billionaire, is one of the most unique places I have ever visited. It’s in the western world, and yet, it still has a very interesting and preserved history,culture and environment. There are many parts of the island that aren’t easy to access, so the helicopter would give you a great opportunity to really see the island and get a lay of the land, and even help you determine how you want to spend your time when you arrive. I am sure it would be one of the most memorable 45 minutes of your life… it’s on my bucket list.

What to see when you fly: Hana rainforest, Haleakala volcano (dormant), West Maui & Molokai

 

#grandfinale 3-4 nights at Four Seasons Lana'i

[recommended: once-in-a-lifetime, romance, exclusive]

After such an incredible arrival, the destination has a lot to live up to. And the Four Seasons in Lana'i will not disappoint. Every square inch of this property is perfect. They have a director of landscaping and it’s obvious. It’s paradise. Everything from the pools on the bluffs above the ocean, to the full-service beach just a few minute walk from the hotel, to a never-ending list of activities you can partake in (horseback riding, paddle boarding, off-roading, PGA golfing,)... the spa is incredible and the food is delicious (Nobu and Malibu Farm)... And the rooms. The most romantic and well designed rooms I have been in. They are all teched-out, and everything actually functions. No detail has been spared. What I loved most about this hotel was the incredible hospitality. Everyone is super friendly, welcoming, attentive and laid-back. It’s not uptight or pretentious luxury. You can really relax and enjoy this super exclusive resort - the staff makes you feel right at home. It may seem like there is not much to do on the island but that couldn’t be further from the truth. Definitely make time for a few activities or at least a trip into the little and only town to learn the history of the place and the people. This is an island experience you will never forget.

Highlights:

  • #bucketlist: This will be one of the top hotels you ever stay at - US News ranked it the #1 in the US for 2018!

  • #romance: they have an adult only pool where they offer mini spa treatments pool-side. 

  • #exclusive: it's the only hotel on the island and it's not a massive resort - this is a great place to experience the highest level of luxury and get away from the overcrowded-vacation-destination feel.

  • #goodtoknow: this is meant to be an active (if you want it to be), but mellow experience. If you are a mover and a shaker who likes a hotel to be buzzing and likes to get off property for nightlife, this is not the hotel for you. There are a handful of local restaurants in town, and a shuttle to take you there, but expect to spend a good deal of your time relaxing at the resort... and why shouldn't you? - it's paradise.

“Every square inch of this property is perfect.”
 

the reasons why Hawaii is so amazing:

  1. Great weather year-round (though I would recommend October and most of November as there are much fewer families)

  2. Great mix of activities and relaxation

  3. No major bug worries

  4. Great food - lots of fresh fish and great steak houses.

  5. Great access/short flights for West Coasters

  6. And finally, hotels have been updating their inventory and renovating... you can now visit Hawaii without having to experience a cheesie printed bedspread.

 

#tips

#tip If you don’t have all the money in the world, or you are saving to buy that first house or a safari in Africa, the Andaz is a great mid-range choice for the entire trip. And you can add in a catamaran day trip to Lanai, or a hike on the road to Hana. Hawaii, any way you experience it, will be magical and romantic for the occasion.

#tip Don't rent a car for the entire trip. The hotel's parking fees are ridiculous and there is a rental car service on property at most hotels or hotels nearby so you can get a rental for just the day when you need it. Ubers and transfers are also available. You will likely spend less and hassle less too. The uber from the airport to the Andaz is about 30 - 45 minutes. Andaz has a car rental the Four Seasons Lanai has a pristine fleet of white jeeps for exploring the island for an extra fee. 

 

If you are interested in any of these hotels or experiences and want added benefits like upgrades and hotel credits, feel free to reach out here.

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These are a Few of My Favorite (Holiday) Things

After the fun (and the chaos!) of the holidays, I wanted to reflect back on some of the things that made it so special and share what I would #recommend.

 

Our favorite gifts for the kid-O

#1 This book, Almost Everything, is everything. I would want it even if we didn't have a kid. It's such a beautiful book with so much to learn for every age. Uncle Brian and Uncle Keith found it at a local book store in Larchmont. We love starting our day with it and a cup of coffee - Maddy's favorite pages are obviously the construction equipment and the planes, trains & autos.

#recommended [books, art, kids]

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#swoon

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#trèschic

#2 If you are going to have kids toys that take up entire sections of your home, it's nice when they are not-unpleasant to look at. This kitchen that grandma and grandpa gave to Maddy is "tres chic" as we taught him to say. It's not the cheapest by any means, but apparently it's got great resale value. 

#recommended [toys, toddlers, design]

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#gamechanger

Our favorite gift to give

Anyone with any size house should have one of these in their life. The Dyson Cordless vacuum is one of the best investments we have ever made. (I gifted it to myself one year with a crazy-good cyber Monday deal). It’s seriously a game-changer. It keeps your house cleaner between deep cleans, and is significantly more convenient than using a regular vacuum. It’s also way more powerful than any other handheld I’ve used. I love all the attachments, and the storage & charging system. We gave 2 of these bad-boys for the holidays this year.

#recommended [domestic bliss, gadgets]

 
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#needforspeed

Adult Entertainment... board games!

I love both of these because:

  1. I have to use my brain, which is needed as I get older.

  2. Both games are quick. For Bananagrams, every player has to build a personal scrabble-like board until all the pieces are used. And for Spot It, each player has to discard their cards by spotting and yelling out the object on their card that matches an object on the one previously played. Each hand lasts about 5-8 minutes for both games. So there is plenty of time for cocktail mixing and snacking in between. 

  3. Super easy to #travel with and store.

  4. Play with more than 4 people or as few as 2.

  5. Fan favorites: After playing these games, multiple friends and family we played with bought them to have at home

#recommended [parties, groups, entertainment]

 
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#nom

Best.Cake.Ever (from one of my favorite restaurants I’ve eaten at while traveling)

Our dear friend Brian (featured repeatedly on Elizabeth & Mott) made Hartwood's Toasted Coconut Cake for our Christmas feast. It was so good that I ate half of it myself over the course of 2 days. Don't judge until you've eaten it.  

#cookingtip - Brian used a bundt cake mold instead of a traditional mold and I think it kept the cake moist (sorry to anyone that hates that word, but it was seriously moist in the way you want your cake). It also allows most bites to include the rum-infused cream-cheese frosting. 

p.s. if you have never been #tulum, the restaurant Hartwood is reason enough to go.

#recommended [recipes, cookbooks, restaurants]

 

Holiday #traveltip

I'll get right to it - travel on Christmas if at all possible. Shorter lines. Cheaper flights. Feliz Navidad. 

The Charm of Charleston

#recommended

#inanutshell - Charleston, and the surrounding area, is a true gem - a travel destination all American's should be proud of. The food is superb. The hotels are run with genuine, southern hospitality. The weather is great, and the city is so accessible by foot. And who knew amazing beaches are just 20 minutes away? It's a great destination for couples, families and groups of friends. 

For a #longweekend, you can explore the city, and take a day trip to the beaches or the plantations. 

For a true #vacation, start with 3 nights in the city, a day trip to the plantations, and 3-4 nights at one of the amazing beach resorts. 

“a travel destination all American’s should be proud of”

#charm - the southern hospitality, the historical vibe and the fact that the city is so walk-able (you don’t need to get in a car at all if you don’t want to) really make this town as charming as one could ever want in a travel destination. Think Nantucket, meets Georgetown, meets Amsterdam.

#weather - rarely drops below 60. Ideal weather seasons are Spring and Fall. Winter and the holiday season are festive and cozy, without freezing temps. Summer can get hot and muggy so best to head to the nearby beaches in July and August.

#architecture - the local historical societies in town have done an amazing job preserving the city center. It has a colonial-European fusion feel. Highly recommend cutting out several hours just to wander through the neighborhoods. There is a home and garden tour twice a year (Spring & Fall) that is highly recommended by locals.

#beaches - I had no idea that amazing beaches were just 20-45 minutes away. Highly recommend renting bikes because the sand is hard packed and you can ride for miles right on the water’s edge.

#activities - kayaking, fishing, surfing. Tons to do. Golf is huge with over 20 public golf courses in a 20 mile radius. The United States Tennis Assoc. rated Charleston the "Best Tennis Town" in 2010.

#history - this is where the Civil War began, where many founding fathers signed the Declaration of Independence, and drafted the Constitution. For history buffs, visiting Charleston is like a kid visiting a candy story. A walking tour is a super great way to experience the city and learn the history.

#familyfun - Beaches. Dinosaur Expo. Children’s Museum. Plantation petting zoos. Fire Truck Museum. Resorts with great kids camps... just to name a few…

#friendstrip - perfect for long weekend for friends of all ages, and interests.

#destinationweddings - everything is so walk-able. The weather is so temperate. There is a great variety of hotel options. There is so much beauty in the natural surroundings and the preserved historical buildings. The vibe is just right for an intimate celebration like a wedding.

#restaurants - Henrietta’s [new American, design, vibes], Hall's Chophouse [traditional, family owned, Sunday Brunch], Circa 1886 [celebratory occasions, romantic, fine dining], Callie's Hot Biscuits [fine fast-food, vibes, guilty pleasure], Charleston Grill [classic American, dinner with the in-laws, wine list]

#hotels - Wentworth Mansion [one-of-a-kind historical experience, traditional, family owned]; The Dewberry [incredible design, lifestyle vibes, great public space]; The Spectator [intimate boutique, modern design, butler service]; Belmond [big & comfortable rooms, club level access], Kiawah Island Resort [PGA golf courses, family fun, beach & sun]. 

 
 

#recommended by a local

[bars & restaurants]

The Bar at Husk (right beside the actual restaurant and you don’t need an reservation!) It has a great drink menu but it also offers the amazing Husk burger as part of the bar menu. That burger is one of the best I have ever had.

Poogan’s Porch a great southern menu, a little classy, and they serve arguably the best shrimp & grits in town

The Shelter a more a casual spot on Shem Creek in Mount Pleasant but has the best weekend brunch scene in town. We go there most Sundays for brunch, drinks, and great live music

Poe’s Tavern a excellent food right off the beach at Sullivan’s Island, good burgers and similar fare.

Minero a great upscale Mexican restaurant on East Bay with great, unique drinks. Great happy hour spot. Chef Sean Brock (also at Husk) runs this place.

Blind Tiger a great casual bar with good bar food on Broad Street. Great, spacious outdoor patio area. Been a mainstay in Charleston for many years

The Rarebit excellent food and the best homemade Moscow Mules you’ll ever try! On King Street

Jeni’s Ice Cream the absolute best ice cream in the world. As many free samples as you’d like! Right across King Street from Rarebit

Kaminksy’s Dessert Café some of the best dessert in the world! Open late and there is generally a line. Also have great dessert martinis, coffee drinks, etc. On Market Street

Carmella’s a newer wine/dessert bar on East Bay. One of my favorite places

Nico a brand new French / seafood / oysters / raw bar restaurant on Shem Creek in Mount Pleasant. It is amazing and already drawing rave reviews. I worked with Chef Nico Romo (named after him) at Patrick Properties Hospitality Group (which owned FISH Restaurant) and he is a great guy and an even better chef. He is actual one of only ~66 French Master Chefs in the US and the only one in SC.

#recommended by Daniel Cooper. Daniel works with South Carolina’s 9th Judicial Circuit. I met him and a few of his colleagues while out at The Commodore - dive bar with dancing. He has lived in Charleston for 6 years and is from the greater area.

 

#stories

[Peter]

Expectations are a huge part of any travel experience. For me, I had such a wide range of expectations for my trip to Charleston. I had seen a handful of great social media images from friends, and heard there was a great hotel and food scene through traditional publications like Travel + Leisure. And of course, I expected to experience that good ol' southern charm kind of hospitality. But I also knew that like a lot of places in the US and around the world, the political climate can create somewhat of a question mark for travelers. That is true of the South, especially for travelers from more progressive areas of the country and the world.

With the exception of Miami, this was my first trip to the southern part of the US. Along with hotel tours and dining at amazing restaurants, we were going to be visiting a plantation. I knew that meant my closest encounter with the history of slavery in our country. And in all honesty, I didn’t know how to feel about it. I am a pretty open book. I wear my heart on my sleeve. I am not afraid of my opinion or my emotion on any given topic. But I wanted to go in with an open mind, because nothing about this horrible part of our past could be changed by me getting upset.

The Middleton Plantation, known as Middleton Place, was established at the end of the 1600’s early 1700’s. It was the dowry for a wealthy bride. When we arrived, I instantly thought of the movie The Patriot. I had thought about that movie flying into the area as well, not knowing or connecting that much of the film was shot here. The gardens were vast and beautiful. The Spanish moss hanging from the trees paint a whimsical and romantic scene.

Within a few minutes of our arrival, we were greeted by the president of the plantation, Tracey Todd. He was warm and welcoming and within 5 minutes of his introduction he gracefully and honestly explained that enslaved people were part of the history of this plantation. There it was. I was immediately impressed and relieved. He said that they do not use the term slaves, but enslaved people because the people forced to work and live here were people. As we moved through the gardens and into the home, he introduced us to an enslaved person named Peter who had served meals to the family. It was apparent that Tracey and the foundation were consciously and humanely putting a face and a name to slavery. Instead of anger or disappointment, the tears welling up inside me were of comfort, gratitude and pride. Not pride that slavery had happened, but pride that there was transparency and respect in telling the story - there wasn't an obvious effort to ignore slavery's place in our history. After days touring the greater Charleston area (and falling in love with everything it had to offer), I was now confident I could genuinely recommend the destination. My experience in Charleston was just another testament to the transformative  power of travel.

“My experience in Charleston was just another testament to the transformative power of travel.”
 
 

Thanksgiving Favorites #2017

#recommended

#cocktail Cranberry-Spice Cocktail (cider, Aperol, ginger) // Food & Wine
not too sweet, refreshing and all the right spice for a holiday celebration

#gravy Fresh Herb Gravy// Food & Wine
the fresh herbs really take gravy to another level - best I've ever had!

#stuffing Cornbread, chorizo, cherry, and pecan stuffing // Bon Appetit via epicurious
the perfect non-traditional stuffing. This with the gravy made an unbelievable leftover sandwich.

#dessert  Honey-Cinnamon Ice Cream, Ginger Molasses Cookie Sandwiches //  FLOUR Bakery + Cafe via epicurious (ice cream) & Mel's Kitchen Cafe (cookies)
these cookies are the perfect flavor and chewy-ness and the combo with the ice cream is killer. #obsessed

 

My friends and family are all over the country so it's rare that we get to see many people we love over the holidays. We have started a great tradition with our friends Keith and Brian (who I successfully, and with the help of California weather convinced to transplant from NYC to LA) to have a #friendsfeast for one of the winter holidays. This year, we chose Thanksgiving. Brian, the most amazing home chef, always puts together elaborate google doc menu options that we have to vote for (everyone needs a type A #foodie in their life), and then he narrows down a dining experience that includes several courses.

“everyone needs a type A #foodie in their life”
Epic meal planning by @bcinLA

Epic meal planning by @bcinLA

But the experience is so casual and laid-back that it's become one of Nick and I's favorite days of the year. We all pitch in as su chefs for Brian (Maddy acts as entertainment) and the day is full of laughter and delicious food.

The Staples

We only kept a few staples in this year: mulled wine for later in the evening, Dahlia Bakery's Banana Cream Pie that Keith and I insist on making despite the 12hrs it takes to make, and curry carrot hummus (which is great year round).  

“the experience is so casual and laid-back that it’s become one of Nick and I’s favorite days of the year.”

The Ultimate Suitcase for Travel with a Toddler

The Problem:

Everyone knows how dreadful even the idea of traveling with a toddler can be.  With summer's encroaching arrival and the travel we had planned, I set out in search of strategies to get through the inevitable chaos.

“I started thinking about that journey from our house, through the airport, on the plane, through another airport and to our final destination”

The Research:

When I got pregnant, I started following the ABC kids expo on Instagram (the show in Vegas where all the baby and kids companies get together to show their products… 80K people not including the general public). I found lots of items I ended up purchasing before I delivered including our crib, and the keekaroo changing pad.

The Find:

Anyways, about 6 months ago I saw a nifty ride-on-suitcase by Mountain Buggy, a high-end stroller company from New Zealand. I started following Mountain Buggy, intrigued by this product and curious to see how it would be received once it went on sale. They started re-posting pictures of people using the case and my interest peaked. Then, we booked a week-long trip for the 4th of July holiday. And I started thinking about that journey from our house, through the airport, on the plane, through another airport and to our final destination -grandma's house. It was time to pull the trigger. If the price was right, and boy was the price right. $100! From a company that normally sells strollers for $600+, I was floored. This was one of those immediate purchases without hesitation (amazon prime of course). 

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The Real Deal:

 
 

Fastforward to putting Maddy on it for the first time at the airport  -  it was like we had just discovered a magical wand for the airport. We gave him his favorite book to hold on to and we wheeled him from curb to gate. We got all of the admiration from fellow travelers that I read about in reviews and in comments on social media. The same ease came when we landed and strapped him back in at the arrival gate (with a few moments of resistance that often comes with toddlers being strapped into a stroller). But it was so nice to have him secured, (rather than running a muck), and not have a stroller to fold and manage. Plus, it was transporting some of the mass amounts of crap you inevitably have to travel with when you have a baby or toddler. The only cons for this gadget would be that there isn’t a top handle for lifting, minor issue since there is a side one, and I’m not sure the seat for the baby would work if you had one. And because of the design of the extra 2 wheels that pop out, there’s a little less space inside the case. I would highly recommend this device for the price and function.

“it was like we had just discovered a magical wand for the airport”

RECOMMENDED:

  • a secure place to keep the kid while moving through the airport. No stroller needed!

  • storage for *some* of the mass amounts of crap you are required to travel with when you have a toddler

  • great price

  • ease of use
Source: https://mountainbuggy.com/us/Products/bagr...